[size=15]OFFICE CORRIDOR 
(Max rushing for the steps) 
Max: Hurry Sam! 
Sam: Wait! Something's not right here. 
Max: I know! We have a chance to ride the ferret and you're taking your ever-precious time. 
Sam: No, it seems rather quiet over at Flint Paper's. 
Max: Yeah, I guess we could take a quick look-see, a really quick one. 
Sam: Let's. 

Sam and Max's Office Door 
Look at: 
Sam: It's our office, and a damn fine one at that. 

Look again: 
Sam: It's our door. 

Enter: 
(go to Office room) 

Flint Paper's Door 
Look at: 
Sam: It's the office of our good friend, Flint Paper. 

Look again: 
Sam: Flint's office. 

Enter: 
Sam: There's something blocking the door, such as a dead body. I wonder if I can see what is in there.... 
(Player can't "Enter" again) 

Look at (after trying enter): 
(Sam looks close to the glass) 
Sam: WOW!! Completely empty. Usually Friday is the day when they get to interrogate the illiterate eye witness that doesn't say a thing, and gets the ever-loving teeth pistol whipped outta his mouth! 
Max: What a life they live. Hmm... there's a note on the door. 
Sam: Way to point out the obvious, Max. 
Max: The note reads, "I'm gone, won't back for a while." 
Sam: I smell something fishy. 
Max: Probably that golf ball retriever from Gator Golf....cheater.... 
Sam: All's fair in love and phone-calls. 
Max: Please don't change old sayings in such a cliche fashion. 
Sam: Can do. 

Note on Flint's Door 
Look at: 
Sam: It's a highly suspicious note, that's probably not from Flint. 

Look again: 
Sam: It's a note that's not in Flint's handwriting. 

Take: 
Sam: Maybe we should run a fingerprint scan on this thing.... 
Max: Sam, either you've gone mad or I have. The most high-tech piece of equipment we have is that cork screw shaped like a rabbit. 

Photo on Floor by FLint's Door 
Look at: 
Sam: It's a photo of Max, Flint, and myself having a good time. Looks like someone's unconscious hand dropped it out here. 

Look at: 
Sam: It's a photo. 

Take: 
Sam: Okey dokey. 

Mailbox (needs sprite) 
Look at: 
Sam: It's our trusty old mailbox, then one that relieved Mailman Jenkins of his hand back in '93. 
Max: Good times.... 

Check Mail: 
Sam: Let's see.... junk, junk, more junk, ooh! Über junk! 
Max: That sounds good! Let me see! 
Sam: Well, it seems that we've been selected as a possible contestant for the hip new game-show, Who Doesn't Want To Be a Billionairesomething! 
Max: Wow! And to think we had only had a ninety-eight out of hundred chance of getting sent this particular chunk of card! 
Sam: Yeah, and all we have to do is fill it out with our names, ages, and credit card information and we can send it back! 
Max: Hey, Sam, there's still something in there... 
(player gets Game-show Entry Application) 

Look at Mailbox again 
Sam: Hey, there's an empty envelope again. Look's like Mr. Jenkins is stealing my coupons for Big Billy Joe Bob's Meat-O-Rama. 
Max: And we could have used those! Maybe it's time we put another bear trap in here... 
Sam: Could be... Oh well. Free envelope. 

Take: 
Sure, why not! 


Picture of Sam and Max on Wall 
Look at: 
Sam: Yup, that's us, in all our majestic beauty. Not counting Max, who looks like a constipated squirrel. 
Max: Shut up, Sam. 

Look again: 
Sam: A picture of us. 

Take: 
Sam: How the hell would I carry that thing around with me? 

Locker 
Look at: 
Sam: It's the janitor's impromptu supply closet. 

Open: 
Sam: It's locked. Mr. Johnson is really paranoid about people stealing toilet cleaner. 
Max: With good reason. Didn't you ever wonder how I keep the toilet so sparklingly fresh and shiny? 

Open again: 
Sam: It's locked. 

Janitor 
Look at: 
Sam: It's Mr. Johnson, our friendly neighborhood janitor. 
Max: And it's rude to point. 

Look again: 
Sam: It's the janitor. 

Talk: 
Topic 1) How's it going, Mr. J? 
Janitor: Terrible. Some idiot spilled some toxic sludge here, and it's sticking to the floor and sticking to the mop and sticking to everything. 
Sam: You sound frustrated. Maybe you should take a break. 
Janitor: Well, I am somewhat parched. Some liquor would be nice. 

(After this a new topic appears - So, are you happy with your current lowly job as janitor?) 
Janitor: No. I've worked in better places than this sleazy office. 
Max: We happen to like this sleazy office. 
Sam: Quiet, fur-brain...Ah, such as? 
Janitor: Well, for awhile I worked in an automat in some town that started with an 'R', I can't quite remember...I also worked as janitor on several orbital stations and outer space science labs. 
Max: Oh yeah! Aren't you that guy from Sp.... 
Sam: Shh! We don't want to get sued by any other companies. 

Topic 2) The craziest thing happened - we've been declared dead! 
Janitor: Aren't we all dead? 
Sam: Eh? 
Janitor: What is this life but a mere passing moment in the overall scheme of the universe? 
Max: Weirdo. 

(After this, a new topic appears) 
Sam: So, you seem like a depressing old man, elaborate on your theories of the great beyond and the universe. 
Janitor: (some fittingly depressing ramble) 
Max: Sam, let's leave this crippled old man to mop the floors he probably uses as public bathrooms. He's scaring me. 
Sam: Good idea, my fuzzy comrade. 

(New topic appears) 
Sam: Anything more disturbing info you'd like to share with us for the celebrated cause of making Max and me stay up late, with wide bug-eyes like little kids and ceremoniously wet the bed every night for the rest of our lives? 
Janitor: #@$% off. 
Max: Besides, Sam, it's "Max and I!" 
Sam: I hate you, Max. 

Topic 3) You wouldn't happen to have seen a bunch of thugs carrying an unconscious private dick out of here roughly, would you? 
Janitor: Nope. 

(After this, a new topic says, "Did you hear anything?") 
Janitor: Nope. 
Sam: You were in here when we came in, weren't you? 
Janitor: Yep. 
Max: Sooo...you must have seen something. 
Janitor: Nope. 
(pause) 
Max: (to Sam) I don't like this guy, Sam. Let's take him into a dark alley and beat him until he's purple all over. 
Sam: While that would be amusing, our schedule is too packed for senseless and wanton violence to the annoying cleaning staff. 

Topic 4) Can we have that mop? 
Janitor: Sorry, I'm using it. Maybe when I'm done. 
Max: When's your break? 
Janitor: When I finish with this mess. Of course, if you had some good booze for me, I might be tempted to stop for a while. 
Max: ...drunkard... 

Topic 5) Gotta go. / Well, we have to get on with rigor mortis, so... (the second one appears if Sam has already talked about being dead) 
(Closes conversation) 

Give liquor (if you have the bottle): 
Janitor: Thanks a lot! I'm parched... 
(he drinks a bit) 
Janitor: Say..., youngun... I evar tell yals 'bout... dat... shtuff...? 
(falls asleep against wall) 
Sam: Well, that was a disturbing sight I hope I will never have to witness again in all my years. 
Max: Me too. 
Sam: Dammit, Max, stop saying that! 
(Janitor's keys fall out of his pocket into sludge) 

Look (while asleep): 
Sam: It's Mr. Johnson, our sleepy-headed senile old janitor. 
Max: He doesn't seem that old... 
Sam: Stop contradicting me, Max. 

Look again: 
Sam: Sleeping like a baby. 
Max: A drunk baby! 

Mop: 
Look at: 
It's a mop. 

Take (before Janitor is unconscious): 
Sam: Although it would be funny to see this poor man fall to earth once we remove the only thing propping him above the ground, I don't think we have a license to do that. 
Max: Oh, come on, Sam! 

Take again: 
Sam: I can't while Mr. Johnson is using it. 

Take (once he's asleep): 
Sam: I don't think Mr. J will need this sticky mop... 
(player gets mop) 

Puddle: 
Look: 
Sam: It looks sticky and highly toxic. Like some kind of radioactive grade-school art class paste. 
Max: I tried it. Tastes like chicken. 

Look again: 
Sam: Ew. 

Keys 
Look: 
Sam: It's Mr. Johnson's multi-purpose keys. 

Take: 
Sam: No way! I'm not getting my hands covered in radioactive chicken glue! 

Use Max: 
Max: Chicken! 
(he walks over, bends over, and keys disappear. Not too fancy an animation. Just a collection of other ones) 
(player gets keys) 

Locker (with keys) 
Unlock: 
Sam: Okay! 
(locker opens) 
Max: Amazing! Now I don't even have to pick the lock with my front teeth to gain access to free house-hold cleansing tools! 
Sam: Possibly, Max, but it seems all our janitor uses to clean is grease. 
Max: Touche. 

Grease (tons of bottles in locker) 
Look at: 
Sam: It's a hell of a lot of grease. 

Take: 
Sam: No one will miss this... 
(player gets grease) 

Inventory: 
Combine Max with Grease. Max's head icon will have grease on top of it, although his sprites will remain the same. 

Exit to Outside Office: 
Look at: 
Sam: It's the dark portal into the bubbling cesspool of pain, hate, and pollution we call the world. 
Max: It's my kind of world. 

Look again: 
Sam: It's the building's only exit. 

Enter: 
(player goes to Outside Office. DUH!) 

THE OFFICE AGAIN 


Desk Drawer 
Use grease on it: 
Sam: I don't think that will work. I need something to wipe the grease on the inside of the drawer, like Max's disturbingly flexible head. 

If you haven't greased Max yet, and do now (after trying to use grease on drawer): 
(Max get greased) 
Max: I don't think you should take your own advice literally, Sam. 

Use Max on it: 
Max will slide his ears into the drawer, greasing it up. Max is no longer greasy. 


Open: 
Sam: Ah, the satisfying squelch of an overly greasy drawer... 
(drawer opens, revealing a pen and some scissors) 
Sam: Oh, so this is the long lost office supplies cabinet! 
Max: Office supplies! Who needs them? 
Sam: Apparently not us, little buddy, although in game's like this there's always some use for the useless. 
Max: So painfully true... 

Office Supplies 
Look: 
Sam: It's some assorted stuff. 

Take: 
Sam: No reason why we shouldn't... 
(player gets Scissors and Pen) 

Inventory 
Grease Max again: 
Max: Never again! 

[Flyer in inventory[/i] 
Look: It's a sign up sheet for a game-show. 

Use Pen on Flyer: 
Sam: Finally, we have a chance to enter ourselves in a completely useless, luck of the draw to get on a completely useless, luck of the draw game-show! 
Max: That really is amazing, Sam. 
Sam: We just have to mail this... 

Use Scissors on Photo. 
Sam: It seems a shame to destroy this lasting token of our friendship with Flint but, 
ah! What the hell, cutting stuff is fun! 
Max: Sam, for once in my brief life, I agree. 
(player gets Flint's Photo and Sam and Max's Photo) 

Use Mop on Sam and Max's photo: 
Sam: Well, this is the last thing I expected to use this huge, sticky mop for. 
(Photo becomes Sticky Photo of Sam and Max) 

Use Mop on Anything Else: 
Sam: I don't want that to be too sticky! It might stick to something else accidently! 

EGADS! Ignore the part about sticking the photo to the game-show form... it's for the business card instead! And don't worry about the old puzzle of sticking the stamps onto the envelope, that one doesn't work anymore, so the envelope always has the stamps on. 


Just for the record, when you show the girl Flint's photo, it doesn't matter if he's his own half-photo or if you haven't cut it yet. It can still be the same thing. 
WAREHOUSE 

OUTSIDE OFFICE 


(Little girl pacing back and forth) 
Sam: Excuse me little girl, but you wouldn't happen to see several gruff looking men from Flint Paper's around, have you? 
Girl: First off, my name isn't "little girl," it's Billie Jean. Second off, I have no idea who "Flint Paper" is, but if you can help find my dolly and show me a picture of this Flint Paper, I think I can help you. 
Max: Gee Sam, seems like someone's just asking for the thrashing of a lifetime. 
Sam: Max, this is a little girl, ya know. 
Max: I see that, but it's little things like "helping others so they can help you" that seem to get us into some huge runaround mission. 
Sam: I've noticed...Okay Ms. Jean, we'll help find your dolly. 
Billie: Well then, get to it, dorkfaces! 
(Max sticks his tongue out) 
Sam: Act your age. 

Little Girl 
Talk NEEDS MORE IDEAS: 
Option 1: 
What's the doll look like? 
Girl: It's a doll. It has black hair. What the hell is it supposed to look like? 
Sam: Hey! Don't use words like that, young lady! 

Option 2: 
We're dead! Spooky, yes? 
Girl: I still hate you anyway. 

Option 3 (if you've looked at the phone but haven't fixed it yet): 
How would you fix a broken telephonic communications device, my dear? 
Girl: I'd shove your big head into it. 
Max: Wow, Sam, she sure showed you. 

Show Photo: 
GIrl: Get me my doll, then I'll help you! 
Max: (sings Billie Jean) 
Sam: Cut it out, Max. 
Max: (sings another line) 
Girl: Stop!!! 
(she could slap him here, but that would be another unnecessary animation) 

Beat Up: 
Max: Pretty please, Sam? 
Sam: Sorry, little buddy, but she doesn't quite deserve it. Not quite. 

Phone 
Look: 
Sam: It's a sadly vandalized phone, now missing it's cord... 
Max: What a terrible world we live in. 
Sam: It is, since this is our only phone now that our line was disconnected. 
Max: Who'd have thought that our subscription plan didn't cover the recently deceased! 

Look again: 
Sam: A broken phone 

(it's true. If you go to the phone now and try to use it, Sam will say "It's been disconnected). 

Use: 
Sam: How am I supposed to use that? It's busted! 

"Kill" graffiti 
Look: 
Sam: Ooh! It's the artistic brilliance of the city's youth expressing themselves. 

Look again: 
Sam: "Kill" 

Spray Paint (underneath Kill Graffiti) 
Look: 
Sam: It's the artist's paintbrush, so majestic in it's tossed-away dignity. 

Look again: 
Sam: Some spray paint. 

Take: 
Sam: I doubt anyone will need this... 
Max: And if they do, screw them! 

Office Door 
Look: 
Sam: It's the entrance back into our warm and loving offices. 

Enter: 
(enters Hallway) 


Garbage (all of it!) 
Look: 
Sam: It's trash. 
Max: Nutritious, and delicious! 

Take: 
Sam: Ew, no. 
Max: Come on! Please? 

Bike 
Look: 
Sam: It's a bike, held up by a stolen electrical cable. 

Look again 
Sam: A bike. 

Take: 
Sam: No thanks, I prefer driving my wonderful, polluting old car. 

Electrical Cable 
Look: 
Sam: It's some kind of electrical cable. Possible a phone line. 

Take: 
Sam: I'm sure I can find a use for this. If not, I can tie Max to the ceiling and use him as a human piñata. 

Desoto (parked near the corner at the far right side) 
Look: 
Sam: It's our trusted car. 

Drive: 
Sam: Let's ride! 
Max: Sam, please shut up. 

Drive again: 
(goes to world, or I guess America if we do it as a three part game, map) 

Keychain (between two of the traffic cones) 
Look: 
Sam: It's a brightly colored key-chain. 

Take: 
Sam: You can never have enough keys... hey! It has the address for a video arcade. 
Max: Damn you, promotional material! Now we won't be able to resist the sweet, sweet power of whatever crud you're shoving into our minds! 
(Arcade appears on map) 

[i]Ferret 
Look: 
Sam: It's the ride-on ferret. 

Take: 
Sam: Although I can think of at least two dozen everyday uses for this thing, it's firmly welded to the ground. 

Ride: 
Sam: Uh, oh. We don't have any money, Max. 
Max: And I spent all my money on that life-time supply of chocolate covered Tuna, Wasabi N' Cheese rolls! 
(Max kicks it) 
Max: Hey, that was really satisfying, in a strange, bone shattering kind of way! 

(new option appears, replacing Ride: Kick) 
Kick: 
(Max kicks it) 
(money rolls out) 
Max: Hey, money! I wanna ride the ferret! 
Sam: Sorry, little buddy, but after hearing about your last purchase, I've suddenly lost confidence in your ability to intelligently choose your monetary investments. 
Max: What now? 
(player gets Money, Kick option disapears) 

Phone Again (after getting Wire) 
Attach Wire: 
Sam: In we go... perfect. 
Max: Now to crank call someone! 
Sam: Not now, Max. The dead have much better things to attend to. 
Max: Such as? 

Ma and Pa's Sign 
Look: 
Sam: It's Ma and Pa's, our local Stick Em Up Emporium and drugstore. 

Look again: 
Sam: Ma and Pa's 

Fire Hydrant 
Look: 
Sam: It's Max's bathroom. 

Fish 
Look: 
Sam: Holy flying cow-powered crapmobiles, Max! It's a giant fish! Run for your afterlife! (pause) Oh wait. Cancel that. It's just an adorable lump of shaped plastic. 

Look (again): 
Sam: I'm not falling for that one again. 

Manhole 
Look: 
Sam: It's an open manhole. 

Enter: 
Sam: Are you kidding? 

Clown Picture 
Look: 
Sam: It's a disturbing clown thing. 

Take: 
Sam: Maybe later. 

Traffic Cones 
Look: 
Sam: Strangely useless. You just run over them and people yell at you. Why not skip the middleman and just have people yell at you in the first place? 

Look again: 
Sam: Traffic cones 

Postbox 
Look: 
Sam: It's our postbox. 

Mail Form (if finished): 
Sam: Now we can go to the wonderfully rigged mass of nationally televised pain that is WDWTBB! 
Max: What? 
Sam: I'm using acronyms, Max. All the hip kids are doing it. 
Max: Sam, did you eat that slice of birthday cake from last November? 
Sam: Maybe... 

HALLWAY AGAIN 
If you didn't drug the janitor yet, you can say this to him after talking to the girl: 

"Seen any rampantly missing dolls around here?" 
Janitor: Nope, but they're sellin' jerky down at Ma and Pa's for a buck. Oh, and I may have seen a few dolls there, too. 

Once you have the doll, but haven't dyed its hair yet: 
"Any idea how to grossly disfigure this adorable doll's hair to match the description of a psycho little girl?" 
Janitor: I don't know... maybe dip it's head in tar... or paint... or sumthin' like that. 

After looking at the phone (but not fixing it yet): 
"Know how to fix a broken phone?" 
Janitor: I just stick all the wires and stuff I can find into broken phones. 
